Chapter 2 - On Etiquette

God's Prophet (a.s) said: “A believer is like a mirror for his believing brother and should remove his troubles.”

Imam Sadiq (a.s): “What is the proper way for us to treat others from our tribe and those who associate with us?” Imam Sadiq (a.s) said: “Return to them what you are entrusted with. If they ask you to, witness on their behalf. Visit their patients and attend their funeral processions.”

Imam Sadiq (a.s) said: “Gather together in the mosque, and wish for others what you wish for yourselves. Are you not ashamed of not respecting your neighbor's rights while they respect your rights?”

Imam Sadiq (a.s) said the following regarding the verse: “For we see thou art one that doth good (to all).” [The Holy Quran: Yusuf 12:36] “This verse refers to those who make room for their friends in meetings, give loans to those in need, and help the weak.”

Imam Sadiq (a.s) said: “Do not do what you will later have to apologize for, since a believer does not do anything for which he has to apologize. However a hypocrite always does wicked acts and apologizes later.”

“Speak fair to the people.” [The Holy Quran: Baqara 2:83] “Tell the people the best things you like to be told about you, since God does not like those who swear, slander or abuse the believers, nor does He like those who use obscene language or are stubborn beggars. God loves those who are patient and virtuous.”

Imam Baqir (a.s) said: “Assist whomever you associate with as much as you can.”

Imam Sadiq (a.s) said: “Whenever three believers get together, no two of them should whisper in each others ears as this will hurt the third one.”

Imam Sadiq (a.s) said: “When your believing brother is not present, talk about him as you like him to talk about you in a similar situation, and do not talk about things related to him which you do not like him to talk about you in a similar situation. These are good deeds. Act like one who is certain to be responsible for his deeds.”

God's Prophet (a.s) said: “Everything about a believer is respectable, including his honor, his wealth and his life.”

God's Prophet (a.s) said: “Do not seek the flaws of the believers, since then God will seek your flaws, and cause you public disgrace even if you are at home.”

Imam Ali (a.s) said: “I prefer that you mediate between two people who have problems in their relationship than to give two Durhams in charity.”

Imam Baqir (a.s) said: “It is forbidden to tell a lie, unless it is beneficial for a believer or is meant to defend a believer's faith and religion.”

Imam Sadiq (a.s) said: “The type of charity that is loved by God is mediation between people who are fighting with each other, and helping them get closer to each other when they are about to be separated from each other.”

Imam Sadiq (a.s) said: “All believers joke.”

Ameer al-Momineen (a.s) said: “Do not make fun of people because this will cause resentment and yields animosity. This kind of action is like a minor insult.”

Imam Sadiq (a.s) said: “Do not make fun of people since it will ruin one's honor and dignity. The Prophet's companions used to gather together and tell jokes until the following verse was revealed: “Has not the time arrived for the Believers that their hearts in all humility should engage in the remembrance of God.” [The Holy Quran: Hadid 57:16] Then after the Prophet recited this verse they stopped their joking and vain talk.”

Imam Kazim (a.s) said: “Yahya ibn Zacharia used to cry, and not laugh, but Jesus used to laugh and cry. What Jesus did was better than what Yahya did.”

Imam Sadiq (a.s) said: “A believer's laughter is just a smile.”

“Whenever you laugh loudly you should pray God not to get angry with you.”

Ameer al-Momineen (a.s) said: “Laughing without a cause for delight is due to ignorance.”

Imam Sadiq (a.s) said: “Laughing too much will eliminate faith.”

Imam Reza (a.s) said: “Call men by their family names in their presence, and their names in their absence.”

Imam Baqir (a.s) said: “The rights of a believer over another believer include: to feed him when he is hungry; to clothes him; to save him from trouble; to pay off his debts; and to take care of his family if he dies.”

“There are seven rights for any believer that are incumbent upon other believers to honor. All seven are obligatory. If you do not honor any of these rights, you have left the domain of divine friendship and God's servitude.” He was asked what these seven rights were. He replied: “The simplest right is that you should like for them what you like for yourself, and dislike for them what you dislike for yourself. The second right is that you must assist them in fulfilling their needs and please them and not act against their words. The third right is that you must use your property, wealth, tongue, hands and feet to assist them. The fourth right is that you must be like their eyes, their guide, their mirror, and their clothing. The sixth right is that if you have a wife and a servant, and your (believing) brother does not, you must send your maid to his house to wash his clothes, prepare his food and make ready his bed. These are all established duties between you and him. The seventh right is that you must accept his oath, go to visit him if he gets ill, and make all efforts to fulfill his needs. You should not let him beg you for help, but immediately fulfill his needs. Once you do this, you tie his friendship and yours together, and tie your friendship to God's friendship.”

Imam Sadiq (a.s) said: “Whoever is given a public responsibility, acts justly, opens the door of his house to the people, draws the curtain aside and looks after the affairs of the people, God the Almighty is bound not to frighten him, and let him enter Heaven in the Hereafter.”

“What is the smallest right of a believer over his believing brother?” He replied: “That he does not place a higher priority for himself on what his believing brother needs more.”

Whenever Imam Hassan's teacher came in, Ameer al- Momineen (a.s) told Imam Hassan: “Stand up in respect for your master.”

God's Prophet (a.s) said: “Whenever the head of a tribe comes to visit you, you should highly respect him.”

God's Prophet (a.s) said: “The reward of a believer who associates with the people and bears with their harassment is more than one who does not participate in public gatherings and does not put up with their hassles.”

Imam Sadiq (a.s) said: “Seek nearness to God by sympathizing with your believing brothers.”

Imam Sadiq (a.s) said: “A believer is more respectable than the Kaba.”

God's Prophet (a.s) said: “When a man comes to see you, ask him his name and where he lives. Asking these questions will help foster friendship.”

God's Prophet (a.s) said: “Whoever believes in God and the Resurrection Day should not divulge his Muslim brother's secrets to us.”

Once when the Prophet of God (a.s) and one of his companions entered a reed bed and picked two reeds, one was bent and the other one was straight. The Prophet gave the straight reed to his companion, and kept the bent one for himself. The man said: “O' Prophet of God! You are more deserving to have this one.” The Prophet (a.s) said: “Not at all. Any believer who spends even one hour with a friend is held responsible and will be questioned in the Hereafter.”

Imam Reza (a.s) told Ali ibn Yaq'tayn: “If you promise to do just one thing, I will guarantee three things for you.” He asked what these were. Imam Reza (a.s) said: “I guarantee that you will never experience the heat of iron; you will never get poor; and you will never be imprisoned.” He asked what he should do instead. Imam Reza (a.s) said: “You should always respect any of my friends (of the Holy Household) who comes to you.” Ali ibn Yaq'tayn promised to do so, and Imam Reza (a.s) guaranteed the above three.

Imam Sadiq (a.s) said: “I advise you to fear God and tell the truth, to acquire piety and to strive to worship God, and to abandon sins. Beware that whoever does not control his wrath does not belong to our nation. So is one who does not honor friendship and is not a good friend, does not associate well, disturbs his neighbors, hurts his companions, does not treat his friends well, and does not oppose the one who tries to misguide him. I advise you to piety, abstention, concealing of faith and hiding your secrets. I swear by God that when I looked to the right and to the left, I saw people each going on their own way. I chose the right path from among all that dirt and dust. You should also fear God while you have time since there is no power other than God's Power.”